Chris Wilding
Contributing author
Mother of Paul


It was the first time that Paul was going to spend time away from me from home. Like all Mum’s we get very anxious when you have a child with special needs and you are worried that people are not going to be able to understand them or cope with them. Norman Brown’s daughter, Cathy at the time, had a boyfriend at the time called Paul and he was going to be Paul’s main  carer on this holiday. We took Paul down toKings Cross and waved our goodbyes at the station. Paul was reluctant. He was all clingy and hanging on. I was saying “it’s ok, it’s ok”. However, off he went 

My husband and I went off to do our own things. We couldn’t enjoy ourselves because we were too busy worried about him.  The day he came back was a revelation to me. He came back, and we went down the station, and as they come off the couch, and Paul stepped from the couch with help. And this Paul was behind him. And my Paul turned instantaneously towards him with the biggest smile on his face because this Paul was saying goodbye. My Paul put out his hand, and he put out his hand and they shock each others hands.And the smile on Paul’s face went from there to there. There was this expression on his face that read “I enjoyed myself”. I could almost read in that expression that at least someone understands me. And I came away, and I thought, you understand more than I am given you credit you for. What you need is opportunities and you are not getting those opportunities to grow. 

And every holiday after that (and I was very anxious that he went on them) he came back and to me he had grown. He had moved on. He had moved on a big step. And the next holiday he went on was with Rodney Norman. They were staying in this beautiful house in Hertfordshire somewhere. We dropped him off – I never let anyone else take him, just to be sure. I took this carry bag full of goodies because Paul liked to have everything on the table looking at him, so to speak. This is what he could have after his dinner. I said to Rodney, you must have this bag because you will need all of this for the week.At the end of the week, Rodney said “your bag” and it was still full. He said we cured him. I said: “what did you do”. Rodney said that we took his dinner away from him. We told him “You are not getting this if you don’t eat your dinner”. 

He was so annoyed Paul – he didn’t want anything that was on the table. He was quite happy to sit down and have his dinner. It might seem a small step to somebody but I could see that it was a huge step for Paul. And other step to letting go and beginning to trusting other people. It was a piece of cake after that.